Went out for a walk to NEX's NTUC to buy some things... Its a long walk but i just wanted to think about things. Wanted to hear from God...
I guess I'm still affected by the loss...
Pastor Darren asked me if I was okay. I replied yes. I wonder what else could I say?
"No" perhaps...
Can't help that I'm a relational person.
"And God, what do you want me to do?
I seriously do not know anymore..."
Haven't been working for about 2 weeks already. 2 weeks seemed like months... Going to send out resume tomorrow...
Feel that I don't care about a lot of things anymore. Seriously not bothered with any people or things or events or meetings.
It really takes time to heal I guess.
The closest ones I got seemed to be ripped off from me... It's not just friends, it's family...
What would you do? How would you feel?
Other close friends won't know why I leave, why I would allow them to feel the hurt. That the sadness are like the heavy downpour that destroys the earth, understood only by the heart...
They probably won't understand why I would be so ruthless, why I would choose to depart and linger myself far away, alone like a star in the high sky...
It's not for myself...
There will be many things we will never understand... and this spiritual home is not a place I can call home anymore...
No comments:
Post a Comment